Own The Ownership

A few days back, I was sipping my green tea and was observing the hustle on the road. I was enjoying my time and meanwhile was just thinking how lucky I am to be an independent woman. Many women do not get equal opportunities in this man dominating world. My parents made sure that I rule my life. Throughout my life, I have taken my own decisions right from choosing the stream I wanted to opt for after my 10th to getting married to the person I wanted to. Even after my marriage, I have a hold of my life. In fact, I started my journey towards my dream after marriage. As it’s never too late to do things that give your life a purpose.

And then suddenly a thought struck my mind. Am I really a free bird of my own will?

I am lucky enough to have a husband who believes marriage is a partnership. Its sharing and enjoying the whole life together. We do not believe in owning each other’s life. We both do discuss the important aspects of each other’s lives and our opinions matters to both of us. But at the same time, we do believe that we are individuals and our views may differ. So at the end of the day, we respect and support the decisions taken for our respective life’s. 

He stands strong behind me to make sure I achieve my goals. We do have fights that every couple has, but at the end of the day, what matters is the respect that two people have for each other as individuals.

But that day, a thought that struck my mind was, what if my husband had a different personality? When I look around I see couples who have partners who feel that they rule their wife’s life. Would I be marching towards my dream with the same strength and integrity if I didn’t have strong support from my husband? And to be honest I wouldn’t. So am I a strong independent woman then? Or is my independence depended on my husband’s point of view?

So, let’s say if he wouldn’t have supported me, I would not have been a rebel like I always have been at my parent’s place. To be genuine, I had to comprise my dreams because I wouldn’t be at a place where I could disagree with his opinions. There are various reasons for it some basic reasons would be I have no idea where this fight for my dreams would lead me and secondly, getting married before shaping my career was my decision, so what would I tell my parents now if a huge fight arises for the sake of pursuing my dreams? Of course Indian parents, especially Indian mothers would definitely tell a daughter to keep her family as her priority and not her dreams. 
So yeah eventually I have accepted that I was in a delusion that I owned my life. Or in other words, I would put it down as I own my life and I am free to take my life decisions because I am blessed with an amazing partner. Touch Wood.

But this is for me. I am lucky enough. But what about others? What about those numerous girls out there who are not the decision-makers for their own life?

Firstly this thought or belief which is very much deeply rooted in the minds of these men’s is that they are the decision-makers or the caretakers of their wife’s or partner’s life should be eradicated. If you believe a woman is capable of taking care of you and your family, she is definitely the most capable person to take care of and make decisions for her life. Dear husbands, please be a wing maker for your wife so that she flies higher and not a wing cutter.

Secondly, it’s an old school thought that woman should always keep her family on priority and not her career. But what’s wrong if she keeps both her personal and professional life a priority? Let her manage it her own way and she will do wonders. Trust me women are the best multi-taskers.

The ultimate truth is no one stands for you until you stand for yourself. We girls have seen our mothers and all the women around us sacrificing many things big or small and have inherited that this is what a women is-a giver. Yes, women are givers but don’t forget to give something to own selves too. Give yourself that courage and confidence that you can break the stereotypes. You can flourish and touch the skies. Respect yourself and shower love on yourself and believe me you will be unstoppable.

It’s high time now that the girl’s parents should start telling their daughters that you are the queen of your life and no one else has the right to rule your life. And son’s parents should teach them that marriage is a partnership and not ownership.

Well for me I am a highly optimistic person. I cherish what I get. I am happy that I am in a healthy partnership and I chucked out the thought of what if I would have been with a person with different perspectives. I am glad and forever grateful that a wonderful personality is always standing beside me in all the decisions I make for my life and vice versa. GRATITUDE.

On the other side, I am also preparing to stand strong for my own opinions irrespective of the societal pressures that a woman goes through.  I was, I am and I always will be the queen of my own life.
I hope every girl gathers the strength to open the cage doors and fly high. The world is changing and this new world needs more stronger women out there.
I also hope every husband becomes a wing maker and do miracles with their soul mates. A perfect partnership is amazing!